'We owe our children': Grieving parents say social media costs lives

Let's take a closer look at one aspect of the new Ofcom rules which we heard a lot about this morning: age verification online.

The regulator's chief executive Melanie Dawes says social media platforms "are not doing enough" to ensure minimum age requirements are enforced, while several bereaved parents who spoke to the BBC earlier raised concerns about this issue.

Robust age checks are one of more than 40 measures included within Ofcom's draft Children's Safety Codes of Practice. Here's how they will work:

This measure will apply where harmful content - such as that relating to suicide, self-harm, eating disorders or pornography - is not banned.

It could mean restricting children from accessing parts of a site or the site in its entirety.

Age assurance methods deemed highly effective include photo-ID matching or facial age estimation, while Ofcom has specified that self-declaration of age would not be considered sufficient.

Services are then expected to use algorithms to remove harmful content from feeds accordingly.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Esther Ghey, the mother of murdered teen Brianna, has told the BBC that she believes social media algorithms are "brainwashing" young people using the platforms.

Speaking this morning on BBC Radio 5 Live Breakfast, before later appearing on BBC Breakfast with other bereaved parents, she said: “When you are fed the same algorithm, it’s essentially brainwashing children."

She also called for "child-safe" smartphones that have features that can monitor and block harmful content and excessive screen time.

"The Online Safety Act is great but we also need something else there such as child safe smartphones."

Esther also said that the new online safety proposals don't offer enough guidance for parents, saying: "We need support to be able to safeguard our children better."

But she added that she did feel largely "positive" about the proposals and the opportunity for change.

Let's bring you some of what we heard on BBC Radio 5 Live a little earlier, during which Nicky Campbell moderated conversations between callers, many of whom are parents, and the technology minister Saqib Bhatti

Katie in Bournemouth called in to say her 12-year-old son insists on watching TikTok and YouTube, despite her warnings that he shouldn't, and asks how Ofcom will regulate the use of these sites by underage children.

Bhatti replies that he doesn't want parents left alone in this fight to regulate their children's social media use, and that s companies are going to be expected to verify the age of children who use their platforms.

"With great reward comes great responsibility," he says, adding that enormous fines and criminal liability will be on the cards for companies that don't comply.

EPACopyright: EPA

As the former UK boss of Twitter and YouTube just mentioned, the discussions happening today about online safety are not restricted to the UK.

In January, leaders of some of the biggest social media companies - TikTok, Meta (Facebook and Instagram), Snapchat, X and Discord - faced questions about online safety from senators in the US.

Bereaved families were present in the room, and at one point, Meta chief executive Mark Zuckerberg turned to them and apologised. He said "no-one should go through" what they had.

An online safety bill is currently making its way through Congress, which aims to hold social media companies to account for material posted on their platforms.

• You can read more about that here

Bruce Daisley, the former UK boss at Twitter and YouTube, has been speaking about age verification in light of the new rules published by Ofcom today.

“The challenge of course is identifying who young users are. So the impact for all of us is that age verification is going to step up a notch," he tells BBC Radio 5 Live Breakfast.

“What we’re seeing around the world is a new era of social media regulation. An extreme version in the US is that Tik Tok is being banned, some states had already banned it actually.

“We’re entering an era where government are taking a bit more control over what we can consume ourselves."

He goes on to say that younger social media users "who may be trying to explore their own identity may not see anything related to their own sexuality or anything related to their own interests in life".

"So there is a group of people who believe there is a downside to this, an unexpected consequence to this where young people won’t be shown anything at all in terms of exploring their young identities and role in the world," he adds.

BBCCopyright: BBC

This morning, we heard from the families of 12 children whose deaths were linked to social media and harmful content online. Here's what they said:

• Many spoke of the involvement of social media in their children's death - Ellen Roome says she still does not know why her 14-year-old son Jools died, after social media companies refused her access to his account without a court order
• Ruth Moss, whose 13-year-old daughter took her own life, described seeing graphic harmful content on her social media. Ian Russell, whose daughter also took her own life, said trying to get tougher social media laws has been a frustrating process
• Ofcom chief Melanie Dawes said the regulator would be publishing details on which social media companies are working with the new legislation and which are not, to give families the information to make a choice on what their children are allowed to access
• Minimum age requirements to use social media are "not enforced", Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan said, adding that the new legislation will put the onus on social media companies to do more robust age checks
• Stuart Stephens, the father of 13-year-old Olly Stephens who was killed after a dispute on social media, said children are being desensitised after being exposed to graphic content online. Donelan agreed that harmful content needed to be "stripped out" of social media platforms
• She also said that companies should be fined "up to 18% of their global turnover" if they breach online safety rules, giving a "commercial incentive" to abide by them

BBCCopyright: BBC

During an hour-long segment on BBC Breakfast this morning, Esther Ghey, mother of Brianna Ghey, also spoke about her petition seeking to make mobile phone companies more responsible for children's welfare, which has almost 120,000 signatures.

She took the opportunity to ask the technology secretary whether the minimum age for legally accessing social media should be increased - and asked "how did we come to the age of 13, because it seems really quite low".

Michelle Donelan replies that the current age laws are not enforced, given how many children under the age of 13 are known to be using social media.

She points to the Online Safety Act, which advises 13 as the minimum age, as the starting point that can be layered upon in the future.

That's a wrap on BBC Breakfast for today, during which we heard from bereaved parents, as well as the Ofcom chief and technology secretary, about the new proposals to safeguard children online.

We've still got some more questions from parents to bring you but in the meantime, Nicky Campbell on BBC Radio 5 Live is now holding a phone-in about online safety, which you can watch live by clicking play at the top of this page.

Ellen Roome, the mother of Jools Sweeney - who she believes died because of a dangerous online challenge - says she didn't know until her son died that parents didn't have the right to access their children's data.

She asks the technology secretary if the law can be changed to address that.

Michelle Donelan responds by saying this has been looked at, adding there is a "balance" between the "child's privacy as well".

She says the new proposals will allow for Ofcom to access the data on behalf of the coroner if the death is thought to be related to social media.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Stuart Stephens, the father of 13-year-old Olly Stephens who was killed after a dispute on social media, says that children are "desensitised" by what they see on those platforms.

Stuart asks: "How can anyone deny that social media is harmful to under-18s?"

He says there is "graphic and horrific" content on social media platforms and asks Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan if that can be stopped.

Donelan says she agrees that children should not have access to harmful content and that it has to be "stripped out" of social media platforms.

She adds that companies should be fined "up to 18% of their global turnover" if they breach online safety rules.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan is also in the studio today.

She says in a perfect world, the new legislation, which she describes as putting "meat on the bones" of online safety, would be in place tomorrow, except that it needs to be "bulletproof" for the tech companies.

"These are companies that are multi-billion pound organisations — what we don't want to do is do it so fast that it has lots of loopholes or they can easily litigate and it's chewed up in the courts for years," she says.

So, while it will take time to make the legislation robust enough, she reminds the tech companies that they don't need to wait for it to become law — they can begin making changes now, and some of them are.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Hollie Dance, the mother of Archie Battersbee who died at the age of 12 in 2022, says she was unaware that Archie was on TikTok.

“How are you going to impose and verify their age?” she asks Ofcom boss Melanie Dawes.

Dawes responds by saying social media platforms "are not doing enough" to enforce their minimum age requirements.

"We know that a third of teenagers online are actually using an adult age, so that has to change,” she says.

Dawes adds that 40% of children aged five to seven are using social media, describing it as a "very risky environment".

She says Ofcom will hold social media platforms to account if they do not follow age restriction rules.

A little earlier we heard from an emotional Esther Ghey - mother of murdered teenager Brianna Ghey - who asked how many children are struggling with their mental health, because of harmful content online.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Lisa Kenevan, the mother of 13-year-old Isaac Kenevan, believes her son died after taking part in a dangerous TikTok challenge.

She asks how Ofcom follows up on individual complaints, adding that she made a complaint to TikTok about a video which they didn't take down.

She says she then tried to flag the content to Ofcom, which told her they couldn't deal with individual social media complaints.

Dawes says Ofcom doesn't have the power to look at individual complaints on social media platforms, but says there are laws that look at making sure tech companies have proper moderating systems in place.

She adds that platforms need to take action to make sure dangerous challenge content isn't being fed to under-18s.

Ruth Moss' 13-year-old daughter, Sophie Parkinson, died by suicide in 2014 after looking up ways to end her life online.

Moss wants to know how Ofcom can measure and evaluate the success of its new measures.

Melanie Dawes, Ofcom's chief executive, says that the current problem is that social media companies don’t measure what it is like to be a teenager online.

“We are going to have to force through new ways. We will do that through testers,” Dawes answers.

“You are 13, you go online, do you still see the content you get today, do you still see pornography, suicide material, hateful content, bullying frequently? We can test that. And we are going to be demanding data from the platforms and publishing reports on it.”

Ruth then asks Dawes how the regulator will keep on top of transforming technology.

Dawes says that the laws are not restricted to one form of service or one form of technology.

“We are very aware that we are managing a very changing environment here," she says.

BBCCopyright: BBC

Sitting alongside the parents this morning is Melanie Dawes, the chief executive of Ofcom.

She says it's clear that harmful content online has been normalised, and that Ofcom today is demanding change.

Among those demands are that social media companies implement proper age checks that identify younger users and radically alter algorithms to those users.

Among the group of bereaved parents speaking to BBC Breakfast is Lorin Lafave, whose 14-year-old son Breck Bednar was murdered in 2014, after he was lured to his killer’s flat through an online video gaming forum.

Lorin asks Dawes what reassurances there are that tech companies will adhere to Ofcom's demands.

Dawes says there will be a commercial incentive, and that Ofcom will be publishing "a lot of information" about which companies are adhering and which are not, so that the public can make informed choices about which to use.

"We don't want anyone to escape now from the truth, which is that there are serious issues to address here," Dawes says.

BBCCopyright: BBC

BBCCopyright: BBC

Ian Russell, the father of Molly Russell, says the process of getting tougher social media measures passed has been "frustrating".

Russell has been campaigning for new online safety rules since Molly took her own life in 2017 after viewing self-harm content on social media sites.

Russell says what's happened to him and other bereaved families is "wrong", but that there's power in coming together.

He adds that he hopes the digital lives of young people will now be safer thanks to their campaigning.

BBCCopyright: BBC

We’re hearing now from Esther Ghey, the mother of Brianna Ghey, who was murdered by 15-year-olds Scarlett Jenkinson and Eddie Ratcliffe in 2023.

Jenkinson and Ratcliffe had watched videos of the torture and murder of real people on the dark web - internet sites which are only accessible via an encrypted browser - in the weeks before they killed Brianna.

Esther says it's "really important" that social media companies work alongside Ofcom to protect younger people online.

“I wonder how many children are actually struggling with their mental health, how many of them have been affected by self-harm that we don’t actually know about,” she adds.

Quote Message: This is a pivotal point and we are all standing united to make sure that change happens.”

This is a pivotal point and we are all standing united to make sure that change happens.”

PA MediaCopyright: PA Media

On BBC Breakfast, we're now going to continue hearing from the families of 12 young people whose deaths were linked to social media and harmful content online.

Their appearance comes as Ofcom, the regulator responsible for online safety, publishes its proposed new rules for tech firms, which it says will help keep children safe.

We'll also be hearing from Ofcom chief Dame Melanie Dawes and Technology Secretary Michelle Donelan.

You can watch the programme live at the top of this page by clicking the play button and we'll also bring you updates on what they have to say.